The frustrating bits

This isn't the post that I thought I was going to write today.

The post I thought I was going to write today was about taking a step back and looking broadly at the concept of operations as it relates to people experiences with Lean and Agile, and why it's so hard to change ways of working for organizations and their people. That post will still be coming, but it probably won't be today.

Part of my intention this year was to be more disciplined about what I am doing, about doing things with more intention and doing them because they are going to help me get to outcomes the way that I want to and are meaningful to me. This means change and growth for me in a particular direction, in some cases getting back to things I've lost, and in other cases developing new habits.

I have to build the muscle back in terms of how I organize my thoughts and put them into words. I have to build the habit back of taking the time to write and think and lay these thoughts out in a cogent way. I am sorely out of practice on this, and I need to be spending more time with this.

Frankly, this was hard for me because it is frustrating that I can't just have my thoughts sorted and ready to lay out. It's uncomfortable because I am used to having more a more cohesive structure to my thoughts already ready to go when I sit down to write. I thought I was there, and I simply wasn't yet. There's a lot more to explore, and I have let that part of me atrophy.

Part of orienting through exploration is understanding where I am at personally with this is and what I need to be doing to make this a reality. It's acknowledging that there are going to be some frustrating points in the process as I change my own ways of working and shift where I am putting my time. It's a reminder for me that the people I am coaching are going through this too.

The picture at the top of the post I wrote this up on my whiteboard at home around the beginning of this year, and I've left it there. I need to keep looking at it, keep reminding myself, and keep reinforcing that I have some control over the outcomes that will be happening in the coming months and years in my life.

So here we are in the frustrating bits: the part where it's not coming easily, where's there's a lot of things swimming around in my head that I am trying to get out and put into something that others can get some value out of instead of just a jumbled mess. The good news I am taking steps in the right direction to build that habit back: I am setting goals and I am dedicating time to making this my reality. I need to keep building on this progress.